is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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