I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
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I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
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He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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