I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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