SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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