We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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