its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize