Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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