Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize