is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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