And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I look better un-naked...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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