We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize