It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize