apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize