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  • Submitted by USFgrad2010 on Jun 26, 10 at 6:05pm

    After that soccer match, the US surprisingly comes to find weapons of mass distruction in Ghana. We will procede as usual and invade!

    • Submitted by Madlen on Jun 27, 10 at 8:05am

      no doubt about that!

  • Submitted by kclax8181 on Jun 26, 10 at 6:56pm

    guess who's not getting any poverty aid

  • Submitted by ramsallday100 on Jun 26, 10 at 11:19pm

    They could beat us at track since they run from lions and shit

    • 65 92
      Submitted by TheNewGuy03 on Jun 27, 10 at 5:08am

      i literally rofl'd. you silly.

  • Submitted by lisapizza on Jun 26, 10 at 6:12pm

    yeah, we may not be great at soccer, but we're #1 in oil spills!

    • 80 90
      Submitted by doublemint_xo on Jun 26, 10 at 7:37pm

      yep, you win

    • 72 85
      Submitted by fuckaginger on Jun 27, 10 at 4:36am

      Haha you know that BP stands for BRITISH Petroleum right?

      • 71 91
        Submitted by ANONONNON on Jun 27, 10 at 2:26pm

        No. It doesnt. BP stopped being "British Petroleum" after a merger in 1998. "BP" doesn't stand for anything. It's an international conglomerate. And the oil spill was in US waters.

        • 87 95
          Submitted by CrazyBrit on Jul 1, 10 at 4:31pm

          thank you ANON - was just about to point this out - and ginger just because it was a British Company remember it will have been US workers on the rig as well - don't just try and fob it off on us

  • Submitted by nikkaaa on Jun 26, 10 at 6:23pm

    we're 'ghana' get them next time!!! USA!

  • Submitted by sparklechimp on Jun 26, 10 at 7:41pm

    But they will always have us beat at the whole AIDS thing.

    • 63 92
      Submitted by gutsout on Jun 27, 10 at 6:59am

      This comment makes me sick.

    • Submitted by Jinnex on Jun 27, 10 at 1:42pm

      Number of people living with HIV/AIDS according to U.CA San Francisco\nGhana: 260K\nUSA: 1.2 Million

      • 87 97
        Submitted by RRstr926 on Jun 28, 10 at 10:44am

        USA: 0.39%; Ghana: 1.1%\nAbsolute numbers mean nothing. USA has over thirteen times the population of ghana. You have to look at it per capita. moron.

  • Submitted by sumthinfunny on Jun 26, 10 at 7:09pm

    ghana rrhea

  • Submitted by henseltr on Jun 26, 10 at 7:45pm

    Did they change this site to "Texts From This Afternoon"?

    • 93 82
      Submitted by TheNewGuy03 on Jun 27, 10 at 5:13am

      hmm...well, they could consider renaming it to "texts from throughout the day," or just simply, "texts." not much of a ring to it, but oh well...

      • 80 99
        Submitted by mk13 on Jun 27, 10 at 7:24am

        However, area code doesn't necessarily equal time zone! I watched the game at 2am in Shanghai, who knows where the OP was.

  • Submitted by anonymous3415 on Jun 26, 10 at 9:39pm

    Gotta be honest, I'm from the US and I'm not gunna pretend I give a fuck about soccer. If the United States won it would have been a joke because we call it something different than the rest of the world, who gives a shit if Ghana beat us? this is the only sport they play

    • 90 92
      Submitted by anja333 on Jun 26, 10 at 10:03pm

      you're a fucking idiot. have some pride in your own country.

      • Submitted by Andrewprime1 on Jun 27, 10 at 3:43am

        Dude, fuck off, national pride is a total joke. You are proud to be born in this country? Thats like being proud to be tall; just a God damn coincidence. Lucky maybe, we have plenty to be lucky for, this place is great. But we aren't exactly a "soccer" nation. In fact America as a whole doesn't give a shit about "soccer". Ghana beat us, they played better, and we are out. Go Ghana!

        • Submitted by JewHater on Jun 27, 10 at 8:34pm

          If you hate america, go live somewhere else you douche. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT. USA, USA, USA!

        • 77 95
          Submitted by CDB on Jun 28, 10 at 4:37pm

          Having pride in your country doesn't necessarily arise from the fact that you're born here. It could mean that you're grateful for and have used it's resources to bring your life in an amazing place that has given you the chance to contribute to your fellow man's efforts worldwide. In other cases people that come here and obtained citizenship are incredibly proud to be American. So have some pride in what your fellow countrymen do on the world's stage or just stick your head in a

  • Submitted by rcbear on Jun 26, 10 at 7:18pm

    It's actually triple or nothing. Ghana kicked us out of the 2006 world cup as well.

  • Submitted by canadaftw on Jun 26, 10 at 6:23pm

    sounds like someone is riding the bitter bus

  • Submitted by shocktroop55 on Jun 26, 10 at 10:23pm

    Whats really funny is nothing anybody posts on this changes thw fact that usa lost everybody in the world hates us (until they need our help) and 90% of America doesnt care about soccer.

  • Submitted by Garner on Jun 26, 10 at 10:25pm

    About the oil spill: BP stands for British Petroleum. Just because the spill is fucking up our part of the ocean doesn't make it America's fault.

    • Submitted by calor134 on Jul 1, 10 at 5:45pm

      No. No it doesn't. BP is about as British as the Boston Red Sox. BP is an international conglomerate; it stopped being British Petroleum back in the '90s. Get with the times.

  • Submitted by ozarkslam21 on Jun 26, 10 at 10:13pm

    Ghana would also win at marathons, zebras, and AIDS

  • Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jun 26, 10 at 6:20pm

    These pretzels are making me thirsty!

  • Submitted by elpolloloco on Jun 27, 10 at 12:38am

    you forgot full contact mini-golf

  • Submitted by professorbananas on Jun 26, 10 at 6:30pm

    so graceful in defeat...

  • Submitted by bev15003 on Jun 26, 10 at 7:15pm

    You forgot to mention football

  • Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 26, 10 at 11:58pm

    11:50 is my fucking hero.

  • Submitted by stlcards220 on Jun 27, 10 at 9:50am

    About BP being British petroleum, if you've seen the ads where bp's CEO is talking about the oil spill, you'll notice that he has a British accent.

    • 94 89
      Submitted by krayv on Aug 1, 10 at 12:34pm

      That's true, No one in the US has an accent. \nActually, if you look at the president, the US is actually a part of Africa.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 10 at 9:53pm

    Great post. Also the guy that made the text from last afternoon joke- i wanna shake your hand

  • Submitted by poop12 on Jun 26, 10 at 6:06pm

    ghana can go fuck itself

  • Submitted by annoynomous on Jun 27, 10 at 1:48am

    Okay I obviously root for the USA but like everyone says Ghana is a poor country and that is no ones fault they won fair and square when the us had many chances to win it's frusterating but to say they win in aides is horrible and immature it doesn't make us look any better when ass holes say shit like that. Fuck you guys

  • Submitted by 23jordan23 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:34am

    Dear 11:50. After extensive research I found that an exotic African yeast is shown to improve speed, thus the Africans being "bread" faster.

  • Submitted by Hisa on Jun 26, 10 at 7:52pm

    Ghana wins at diving.

  • Submitted by balhblah on Jun 26, 10 at 8:46pm

    I would go so far as to include mens tennis and downhill. Remember Ghana is in fucking Africa.

  • Submitted by hunter09 on Jun 28, 10 at 9:54am

    Hahahahahahaha too true

  • Submitted by klangford on Jun 26, 10 at 9:19pm

    They beat us with AIDS per capita for certain

  • Submitted by gutsout on Jun 27, 10 at 6:57am

    Hey, I've got an awesome idea! Let's invent a text about some heated subject going on in America, even though it has nothing to do with a TFLN and actually has never been sent, so we can get over 90 replies of fiery people looking for a debate!

  • Submitted by BorisYeltsin on Jun 28, 10 at 1:34am

    US died from Ghanarreah. Holla.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 10 at 9:57pm

    He didnt mention football because there are only like 5 countries in tje world that are man enough to play it

    • Submitted by DutchCourage on Jun 27, 10 at 6:45am

      Haha. Like Baseballs "World" Series. Only 1 country "man" enough to play it. Hang on, is your football using just feet....? As logical as spending 3 bil on developing the space pen when a pencil will do.

      • Submitted by largeballz on Jun 28, 10 at 12:21pm

        toronto bluejays aren't from the usa you dumb fuck

  • Submitted by foshooo on Jun 27, 10 at 2:10pm

    So fuckin true

  • Submitted by Stimofo on Jun 26, 10 at 8:23pm

    Take it like a man. Loser!!!!

  • 93 83
    Submitted by xsdasltx on Jun 27, 10 at 1:05am

    ha this is hilarious except the oil spill part, thats BP, which is British but at least they have one thing to be proud of, I mean they are the last African team left :/ but go USA in everything else!

  • Submitted by fuckcanada on Jun 27, 10 at 1:37am

    Fuck Canada AND Ghana!!!!

  • 91 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 8:39pm

    USA, USA, USA!!!!!!! soccer is for mexicans anyway

  • Submitted by Th3CrAzYAc3 on Jun 26, 10 at 10:11pm

    so you play football because you're too fat and uncoordinated to play soccer. Keep thinking you're better than everyone else because you play football you ignorant bastards.

  • Submitted by jmora031 on Jun 26, 10 at 9:33pm

    -candycane...... Stfu

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 12:50pm

    I play rugby and American football and football is tougher also the us invented the Internet so youvall can get the fuckboff of it

  • Submitted by florist_friars on Jun 27, 10 at 4:46am

    Nevermind USA. No one cares about football, it's not manly enough right? How about a good ol England vs America rugby match instead? It's like your 'football' only we play without the padding.

    • 92 93
      Submitted by Th3CrAzYAc3 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:38pm

      no dude apparently football players are the coolest toughest guys on earth. I'd leave em be.

  • Submitted by kmsocrgrl01 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:15am

    Hey DrGiggles, fuck you. Soccer is a real sport dumbass.

  • 95 98
    Submitted by kbeex3 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:13am

    damnnn ghana.

  • Submitted by seal2bkl on Jun 26, 10 at 7:29pm

    Haha you guys remember the world cup is soccer right? Who gives a shit?

  • 86 83
    Submitted by aliceismad on Jun 30, 10 at 2:59pm

    haha it's so funny to me how you people get worked up over a comment on the internet...get a life

  • Submitted by gremo on Jun 27, 10 at 2:43am

    Ghana! Ghana! Ghana! Gooooooo Ghana!!! Wooooooooo!

  • 88 88
    Submitted by thebrettinator33 on Jun 27, 10 at 11:48pm

    Everyone hates yanks.

  • 92 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 4:49pm

    I challenge Canada to war!

  • Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 26, 10 at 11:47pm

    Yeah, shocktroop55 makes a good point, everyone hates us until they get hit by a fucking hurricane or someother natural disaster. And keep bringing up hockey because that's all you Canadian motherfuckers have over us. And we don't particularly care what you think, becuase here in the US, we're better than you, and we know it.

    • 74 92
      Submitted by neverland22 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:13am

      And that would be the exact reason why the world hates you. And generally the world helps out with natural disasters not just the US. We also have the peace of mind that we can travel internationally without having to wear another country's flag.

    • 88 98
      Submitted by DutchCourage on Jun 27, 10 at 6:40am

      You guys have such a god complex.

    • Submitted by servus on Jun 27, 10 at 2:01pm

      me like hockey

  • Submitted by Madlen on Jun 27, 10 at 6:16am

    this text and these comments make me laugh so hard at americans.

  • Submitted by gremo on Jun 27, 10 at 10:24am

    Ghana! Ghana! Ghana! Wooooohooo!! Hah US lost. Hahahahahahahahahhahahaha Ghana!!!!!

  • 88 99
    Submitted by Thesheep on Jun 27, 10 at 11:27am

    What about nukes???

  • 84 92
    Submitted by USAisboss on Jun 27, 10 at 2:39pm

    well we're good with guns and making things go boom

  • 86 97
    Submitted by stl_fimest on Jun 29, 10 at 3:13am

    We could beat them in real football so why should we care

  • Submitted by hotdog20 on Jun 26, 10 at 9:16pm

    We beat them at sour grapes too? Pussy.

  • 81 88
    Submitted by malone21 on Jun 26, 10 at 8:04pm

    Now that is a great comment!

  • 81 89
    Submitted by CoCo30 on Jun 27, 10 at 9:38am

    I'm loving how this txt is patriotic yet throws so many low blows against the US...

  • Submitted by gremo on Jun 27, 10 at 2:44am

    I <3 Ghana!

  • Submitted by maxtbpeers on Jun 26, 10 at 10:23pm

    And that's why the us doesn't deserve to win. They're too damn cocky.

  • 84 98
    Submitted by bumass on Jun 29, 10 at 3:19am

    This was so posted by a redneck

  • 79 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 2:35am

    What about football?

  • Submitted by CandyCane on Jun 26, 10 at 9:23pm

    Man, you folks sure hate the world.. Oh yeah right , American's..sore losers..I remember when you lost the Gold game to the Canucks..I think 99% of Americans showed their true selves.. pissy little bitches.

    • Submitted by thisisimportant on Jun 26, 10 at 11:23pm

      So you're saying we were doing our best Sidney Crosby impressions?

  • Submitted by HinduSpartan on Jun 26, 10 at 7:11pm

    USD-you win

  • 77 88
    Submitted by Xenetethrae on Jul 3, 10 at 3:43am

    USA! USA!

  • 77 89
    Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 28, 10 at 2:25am

    @5:49 or whoever made the medal count comment: the US won the overall medal count and Canada had the most gold by two or three.

  • Submitted by swimit08 on Jun 28, 10 at 12:31am

    Power knitting

  • Submitted by Nova_Girl on Jun 26, 10 at 6:34pm

    What's with the Yanks talk? It's really silly.

  • Submitted by NDDT72 on Jun 28, 10 at 1:11am

    can't believe i'm gunna be putting my life on the line for fucks like andrewprime. go fuck yourself , douche.

  • 80 98
    Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:03pm

    American football and rugby are both about the same when it comes to the physical challenge. In rugby you don't wear pads but in football the hits are harder. Now everyone is gonna argue this but it's a mental thing. With padding your body will actually allow you to hit harder but without it it will not because your body has a natural goal for self preservation.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 5:39pm

    Um, 2:44, am I mistaken, or did Canada win the most mdeals at the olympics, and the junior championships and beat the USA.

  • Submitted by stevelacman on Jun 27, 10 at 11:48pm

    BP DOES STILL STAND FOR BRITISH PETROLEUM. it is just no longer soley a British company.

  • Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jun 27, 10 at 11:04pm

    haha so true

  • 76 95
    Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:44am

    @ neverland22, yeah, certain other countries help with natural disasters. But without the US there would not even be half as much aid being sent to the affected regions. And I'm not exactly sure what you mean with the flag thing.

  • Submitted by heavyweight420 on Jun 27, 10 at 3:46am

    if you saw the game, you would have seen how good ghana actually is at diving. on to the field. F

  • Submitted by adn4life on Jun 27, 10 at 3:41pm

    So, americans think that soccer aint a sport but golf is? pfft! and lets see.. they aint the best thing at everything, canada or russia takes hockey, japan takes baseball... and i can keep going .... NASCAR? really! you call that racing?? what a joke!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 10 at 7:45pm

    Except they still beat us in the world cup..so yeah their pretty legit.

  • Submitted by texter101 on Jun 26, 10 at 6:40pm

    to me, soccer = David Beckham = mmmm :D

  • Submitted by kymislove on Jun 27, 10 at 6:49am

    Daniel tosh said it best when he said that countries she play poker and be allowed only to use their total worth

  • Submitted by shocktroop55 on Jun 27, 10 at 3:23am

    I think we could take them in beer pong too. Also i played football for ten years and ill admit that soccer is a harder more physically challenging sport. This is coming from a dumb yank that doesn't watch soccer and canada you need to read some history books man a lot of world war two was against Japan but we still fought quite a bit in Europe ever hear of d-day.

  • Submitted by mellowkush on Jun 27, 10 at 12:29pm

    So what do you call the citizens of gohana are they gohnarians?

  • Submitted by TheNewGuy03 on Jun 27, 10 at 5:10am

    ghana and the us should have a rubber match with the pigskin, then we'll see who gets waxed all through the drive-thru.

  • 54 65
    Submitted by FoldableLemons on May 31, 11 at 9:51pm

    Which one is worse?

  • Submitted by DrGiggles on Jun 26, 10 at 7:40pm

    Dude, how can anyone be bitter about a soccer game. It's fucking soccer, hahaha. Whine about a real sport, then we'll talk.

    • 89 90
      Submitted by Th3CrAzYAc3 on Jun 26, 10 at 10:53pm

      oOoOoOo how bout tennis?? Golf? Water polo? Football?... Those are all pretty cool.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 10 at 7:30am

    I'm sure this was meant as a joke so all you foreigners should shut up and calm down. USA USA USA!

  • Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 28, 10 at 2:29am

    And @DutchCourage, I like my fucking god complex asshole.

  • Submitted by Niggaplz11 on Jun 27, 10 at 2:44pm

    When Canada can win anything.. Come talk shit

  • Submitted by catamaroo on Jun 29, 10 at 3:14am

    Why can't we all just get along?

  • Submitted by Robot on Jun 26, 10 at 6:07pm

    We let the terrorists win

    • Submitted by adn4life on Jun 26, 10 at 7:10pm

      ha Ha Ha! of course the us would be pissed... they dont know how to loose.. and of course ya let the terrorist win... like always like the 5 year war and ya havent made anything good!

  • Submitted by haterzgonnahate on Jun 29, 10 at 10:08pm

    To the hundreds of people dissing America and the people who live in said borders, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Hopefully most realise what America tributes world wide to people and the openess it shows to other countries. You cannot blame our retarded govermental system, because over half of us don't like it.

  • 65 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 1:08pm

    That is very true this is why American football causes so many concussions players run full speed into head on collision on rugby the tackles are more form takedowns and less driving impact

  • Submitted by jj12345 on Jun 26, 10 at 7:18pm

    Best TFLN ever!!!

  • Submitted by [][][] on Jun 27, 10 at 2:09am

    big_dubya wins with the dodgeball reference.

  • Submitted by Bored0ne on Jun 27, 10 at 1:17am

    11:50 not to make you seem ignorant but the word you're looking for is bred not bread, Ill just assume that it was a typo

    • 77 87
      Submitted by helenoftroy on Jun 28, 10 at 11:45am

      Not to make you seem ignorant, (since you're already doing a great job all by yourself) but it was a pun, dumbass.

  • Submitted by yert on Jul 3, 10 at 12:36am

    Halirous man

  • Submitted by laughingloudly on Jun 26, 10 at 7:11pm

    Lmbao!!! This is funny as he'll!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 10 at 11:50pm

    Well those coloreds were just faster than us today. They have been bread to run. They've been dodging coat hangers since they were illegitametly conceived..

  • Submitted by shocktroop55 on Jun 27, 10 at 10:36pm

    Before you talk out of your ass again go look up the battle of iwo jima or Guadalcanal or tarawa saying we just bombed Japan is offensive on a side note i looked up d day and i never new canada had a wave go in and actually made it further than any other allied forces.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 10 at 7:26pm

    I don't get it

  • Submitted by amandak0097 on Jun 26, 10 at 6:14pm

    Can we call this site something other than "Texts From LAST Night"?

    • Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jun 26, 10 at 6:21pm

      How about if we call it "Pretzels from last night"?

    • 90 93
      Submitted by IfSheSpinsFast on Jun 26, 10 at 7:11pm

      How about we call it "Dont be so fucking literal"

  • 35 74
    Submitted by hardybitch on Jun 3, 11 at 3:00am

    Who ever said an English versus US rugby match your on, but you then have to play us at football or baseball or basketball your choice... Btw fuck Canada

  • Submitted by godamnit_bobby on Jun 27, 10 at 9:18am

    Gotdamnit, now we have Ghanarrhea:(

  • Submitted by MrLollerskates on Jun 26, 10 at 6:22pm

    Gotta love stupid Yanks. You made it farther than anyone expected anyways.

    • 89 83
      Submitted by Th3CrAzYAc3 on Jun 26, 10 at 6:55pm

      I hope germany beats englands ass tomorrow you dirty english fuck. That is all.

      • Submitted by goodnight123 on Jun 26, 10 at 7:08pm

        dont expect any help from "the stupid yanks" next time Ze Germans kick your asses, which with any luck will be tomorrow.

        • Submitted by DutchCourage on Jun 27, 10 at 9:30am

          Don't think we'd ask for some help from the USA team... clearly. Still, chill out people. We both think that the other is stupid and ignorant. Just so happens that the brits, in a massive break in tradition, are right in this case.

    • Submitted by yeaaaah on Jun 26, 10 at 7:06pm

      hey. remember the american revolution? go fuck yourself.

    • Submitted by Th3CrAzYAc3 on Jun 26, 10 at 7:26pm

      whered you english assholes get so cocky anyway? Ur like the uninteligent geeky kids of the world...

      • 92 93
        Submitted by doublemint_xo on Jun 26, 10 at 7:40pm

        and Americans are uneducated fatties

        • Submitted by yeaaaah on Jun 26, 10 at 7:45pm

          because i bet there are NO obese or stupid people from england. oh wait...

      • 80 87
        Submitted by canadaftw on Jun 26, 10 at 9:37pm

        Unintelligent has two 1's... It really does help prove your point when you misspell it. And ur is idiotic, use your.

        • 96 70
          Submitted by Th3CrAzYAc3 on Jun 26, 10 at 10:27pm

          iif that was the case I would use "you're", but thanks for trying...

    • 96 91
      Submitted by bwhite on Jun 26, 10 at 9:41pm

      remember that one time, when america decided to come in and save england from germany? you're welcome.

      • 73 91
        Submitted by canadaftw on Jun 26, 10 at 11:00pm

        Dude that was sixty years ago... and you showed up late...

        • 74 98
          Submitted by canadaftw on Jun 26, 10 at 11:02pm

          and you mostly fought the japanese

          • 87 99
            Submitted by thebosslady on Jun 27, 10 at 12:40pm

            you're from canada...do you think anyone in the world cares what you say?

      • 93 83
        Submitted by adn4life on Jun 27, 10 at 3:38pm

        Ohh sorry but im pretty sure canadians helped way more in europe than US did during that war... you just went and bombed japan and that was it

        • 83 67
          Submitted by DerpMuthaFucka on Dec 25, 10 at 5:11am

          You are clearly an uneducated Canadian. Have you heard of D-Day? It was a huge loss of American lives. Roughly 292,000 Americans died during the European campaign. Which is equivalent to about 10% of the Canadian population at the time. From here on out, how about dumb people aren't allowed to talk. k?

    • Submitted by thisisimportant on Jun 26, 10 at 11:24pm

      and it's amazing how easily you made it through the group stage with 9 points under your belt...

  • Submitted by mcip123 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:42am

    Well you got beaten by a team from a povershed country you can't mask that shit with any excuse

    • 65 95
      Submitted by sh22 on Jun 27, 10 at 3:11am

      It's 'impoverished' you dumb British and/or Canadian cunt.

      • Submitted by DutchCourage on Jun 27, 10 at 7:09am

        Firstly, mcip fails!\nSecond, don't paint us all with the same brush...