Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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