I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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