And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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