Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
