why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize