I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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