You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize