Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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