I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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