You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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