Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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