I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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