It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
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i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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