Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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