I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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