how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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