Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
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Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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