How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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