If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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