Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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