dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize