He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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