I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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