everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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