what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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