I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize