Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize