the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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