ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
