Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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