okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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