Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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