a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize