was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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