Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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