I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize