Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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