2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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